My little wonderland

Some of my favourites:

I wonder if angels believe in ghosts

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.

I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know?

Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.

When I heard that trees grow a new 'ring' for each year they live, I thought, we humans are kind of like that: we grow a new layer of skin each year, and after many years we are thick and unwieldy from all our skin layers.

You cant have everything!!Where would you put it?

Sometimes the beauty of the world is so overwhelming, I just want to throw back my head and gargle. Just gargle and gargle, and I don't care who hears me, because I am beautiful.

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a very beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

Marriage is the sole cause of divorce

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

The two biggest problems in America are making ends meet and making meetings end.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Anymore?