My little wonderland

When she woke up with the thunder outside,and she looked out of the window ,felt the rain lashing out at her,she knew everything had ended.But why wasn’t she convinced it was for the best.It was hard to digest the fact that what had been like a life laid out for her,all planned and rosy had suddenly backfired and there it was ,flowing with the rain,into the drains.Her vision was blurred,was it the rain,was it her tears?No she could no longer differenciate .The present ,the past all had suddenly merged and now prevented her from seeing a future. She had to fight, struggle to breathe, to live, to sustain. She had no go.

Was it her unfortunate fate?Was it her mistake?Was there any light of hope?Was there nothing she could do to unwind time and make life take a different turn?OH..jus a bit!!!Many questions were flashing in her mind,a mind lost between lightness and weight,a mind between dream and awakening.It was painful to think of what had just happened ,and still go on living like it would be forgotten soon.

Out of her window she suddenly caught a glimpse of a child,an image of innocence running and dancing in the rain.Had she been innocent in her life too?How long ago was that?She could not remember.This horrid past had deprived her of that innocence,her charm,her self,her truth.She would not forgive the person who had brought her this unhappiness,gifted her this state of mind knowingly or unknowingly.Suddenly she felt anger rise, her cheeks flushed.This was not meant for her.It was a mistake.She was a prey to an unncecessary game,an event into which she had been wrongly brought.

She shut the window and went back to her gloomy room,a room that had not been lit for some days now.Eitherways her sadness and sorrow was enough to have dimmed out the light .She looked at herself in the mirrior.She was taken aback.She hadn’t taken care of herself for quite sometime.Drops of tears were her constant companions.She had forgotten to eat food like a normal human would.She drank her sorrow.She wanted to flee,flee from her misery,her hurt,this spiteful pain..she had to run or she would soon drown.She had to get out of this mess,somehow at any cost,and soon.She sat and gazed at the unfinished painting,and then into darkness.What a waste of many talents.She took a paper and tried writing a poem,but her tears blotted out the ink.The music she tried playing sounded sour to her ears. She was helpless.She had no one to turn to in times of misery,she dint trust them and nor did she want to thrust her misery on them.She was all alone.

Was nt this what she wanted?To live alone,to live an independent life where she could breathe free,with a feeling of lightness.But now it was the weight,the burden of her past that she had to overcome.She was assured that what had just occurred would come a long way in deciding her life.She could no longer perceive life the way she had always.Suddenly she overcame with disgust.It was a pity if she wasted a precious life over this.

She laid on her bed,and stared blankly at the ceiling,into nothingness.She could hear the thunder,she shuddered..She knew she was being unfair to herself and tormenting herself,and she had no rights to do that ,not even to herself.Bygones are bygones.
She promised herself a new tomorrow,a positive day and a lovely future.Yes that’s what she deserved.A bright future.A hopeful life and a New begnning.She was tired,tired of her thoughts and felt exhausted.She could no longer think.She sighed.Slowly she sank into a deep slumber.Now she finds peace only in her sleep,a state of mind where all her random thoughts are put to rest.She no longer remembers her past nor her present and she has no worries of her future..Yes she has turned into a sleeping beauty,beauty glorified by the ugliness of the sorrow in her awake state.She will remain asleep till the thunder wakes her up again and yes it will repeat again and again and again…